The Cherubby Mistake
by QueenVulca
Summary: All Ron wanted was a grand gesture for Pansy. All Draco wanted was a heartfelt day for his Hermione. Somehow, those damn cherubs ruined everything. Or did they? *Valentine's Day Secret Admirer Fic Exchange* Dramione, Ransy.


In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the SecretAdmirerFicExchange collection.

 **Prompt:**  
As Valentine's Day approaches, Draco and Ron try to plan a special evening for Hermione and Pansy ... Nothing goes right ... How do the boys salvage a special evening for their special girls?

 **A/N**  
 _Yeah. What the prompt said. But before you read, few points for you to keep in mind. There was no war. There was no Voldy. There was no nothing. There was just a school called Hogwarts. That taught magic. That's it. No, prejudice of killing kind._  
 _Any mistake is my own. I tried my best to correct it. As did Grammarly. And as did beta Scarlet Dewdrops. Beta love to her!_  
 _Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **The Cherubby** **Mistake**

* * *

"I am gonna ask Pansy to be my girlfriend tomorrow. Do you think she'll say yes?" Ron asked tentatively.

Draco gave him a once over and then said with a frown, "Naah. She likes posh men."

"I know Pansy likes _savvy_ , posh men, but how do **I** become posh for Pansy?" Ron whined.

"Hmm. Difficult but not impossible," Draco quipped.

Ron merely glared at Draco over his tumbler of Scotch.

"And you are begging me?" Draco drawled.

Ron increased his glare's intensity. "I am _asking_ you since you are one of her oldest friends. And mostly because Blaise is having a pre-Valentine's Day romp with Luna and Theodore is busy tending his wife and Millicent is away in America sponsoring her newest cat beauty product and—"

"I was the last resort?" Draco said deadpan.

"Hmm."

Ron waited for Draco to answer him but he was busy swirling his Firewhiskey in his crystal tumbler.

"Oi! Answer me," Ron exclaimed.

Draco cocked his brow at him and explained, "I am being generous today. So I am going to say this from the goodness of my heart—"

Ron snorted while Draco merely gave him a look.

"Where was I before an imbecile interrupted me?" After a dramatic pause, Draco began, "Oh yes, dress well, get a reservation at the newest restaurant in London. Yes, muggle London. She's got a taste for the exotic. Try The Wild Thyme or Gordon Ramsay Plane Food or Jamie's Italian. Hermione has taken me to these places and the food and ambience were great. And don't forget a grand yet sentimental gesture," Draco explained.

"What grand gesture?" Ron asked as he noted down the restaurants' names.

"Like-like a gift you made or a poetry or- I don't know. Your girlfriend, your headache." Draco huffed.

"Hey, we helped for Hermione!" Ron exclaimed again.

"You just told me her address," Draco replied deadpan.

"Helped, huh," Ron said as he tried to give him desperate puppy eyes.

"Stop making those eyes. People will get the wrong idea. I know, I am handsome but please I am not going to lower my standard to this," Draco said as he waved a hand in a gesture that meant 'this' was Ron.

Ron rolled his eyes and asked, "What are your plans for Valentine's Day?"

"That's for me to know and Hermione to enjoy," Draco said and took a deep sip of his drink.

"You are such a snake," Ron sneered.

"I take that as a compliment. Cheers!" Draco said as he raised his glass to him.

"Cheers," Ron mumbled into his drink.

* * *

It was D-day…er…V-day. Ron had combed his hair into submission, had poured perfume over himself, got himself into a suit (it was such bloody suffocating thing. What was wrong with a formal robe? Damn the love of his life's new fancy for men in suits) and finally convinced the cherubs to spout the love ballads by John Keats. The cherubs giggled and flew away to Pansy's flat.

Ron pulled at his tie again and waited patiently. He knew those cherubs would take at least fifteen to twenty minutes to spout their poetry and after that, he would Apparate there and take her out for a great night out. He fidgeted and started sweating a bit under the suit. He grabbed a random perfume and splashed some more on his clothes in case he stunk like a skunk in the forest of Dean. That was a horrible experience he didn't need to relive. Sitting down in his loveseat, he watched time pass.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" Hermione asked with trepidation.

"Yes, yes. Blaise got me these all the way from Milan. These combs are a riot now. They are imbued with excellent charms that give your hair a natural silky look, unlike Sleekeazy. They give nightmarish split ends," Pansy said assuring Hermione.

Hermione hummed as she combed her unruly hair getting ready for her Valentine's Day date with Draco. She wanted to dress up for him and Pansy was her style guide of the day as Ginny was on bed rest- given her advanced stage of pregnancy. She wanted to show off today. Yes, Hermione wanted to show off. Some of the posh, snobby germs must have rubbed off on her from her husband. Draco was a lovely person when he was not busy being a prat to the world. Hermione smiled reminiscing something when she heard a knocking on the main door. It was pretty early to have any visitor or escort. Or maybe it could be a messenger with a greeting and flowers for her-curtsey her handsome husband who knew she was here dolling up for him.

"Go get it, girl," Pansy said as she put the eyeliner carefully.

She skipped her way to the door and opened it with a big smile- only to have cherubs flying into the house with a loud Wheeee! They zipped around the living room scattering confetti and singing in loud squeaky voice and one of them aimed a short little arrow at Hermione and shot her right in the neck making her stagger and fall to the ground in a faint.

Pansy rushed out of the room on hearing the commotion and was surprised by the chaos that greeted her. Taking out her wand, she managed to stun all of them but she missed the one hiding in the chandelier which was there in the first place because of Narcissa's insistence.

The sly cherub aimed his arrow at the pale, rude girl and got a straight hit on her rump. He pumped his tiny fist in the air and turned around to be greeted by a hi-five. Sadly, his colleagues were frozen as a statue but they give away their appreciations with their eyes. Considerate fellows they were. The cherub then unfroze them and they again went about their way spreading love and more love.

Sometimes, all the world needs is some love. Forced or not.

* * *

In their marriage of just one year, Draco came to understand Hermione's lack of enthusiasm for lavish and fancy gestures. She had told him that made her feel taken for granted. Apparently, her parents were very busy people who did adore their daughter to death but didn't have much time. So they showed their love by showering gifts on her. That included Hermione's own pony at the age of seven at her granddad's farmhouse, her own gods of Egypt-themed ninth birthday party, numerous expensive knick knacks- including a tiara of crystals and emerald ("I was just eight years old, for God's sake Draco."), mountains of books- new and antique- and a BMW convertible on her sixteenth birthday since Mrs Granger read a convertible was the 'it' friend for a teen girl and a diamond jewellery set for her seventeenth birthday to celebrate her coming of age in Wizarding world. Draco found this out when he found his gifts of jewellery for Hermione dumped in the hidden store behind the pantry shelves but his poetry written in a random piece of parchment in her drawer of expensives.

So, on their second Valentine's Day as a married couple, Draco had decided to cook for her and spend the evening dancing under the open night sky and make sweet, sweet love to her all night long. The evening sky was glittering with stars and there was not a gloomy cloud in sight. He had groomed himself again and was positive his new perfume would blow Hermione's mind but cooking the food was turning into a nightmare. Presently, his meatballs resembled rock hard charcoal balls and the spaghetti had over-boiled itself to form some sort of soggy lump, the sauce was flambéing itself. Draco waved his wand and the kitchen catastrophe stopped but the not-fit-for-human-consumption food mocked him with its horrible look and terrible smell. Draco sighed and rubbed his hand over his face wishing he could call his house elf, Mitzy, up but decided against it. Her righteous Gryffindor germs were rubbing off him. Looks like he would have to order something from the good Italian place in Diagon Alley. He removed his splattered apron and walked towards the Floo to call the restaurant when the fireplace flashed green and Pansy dropped out of it.

"Drakie Poo! Ron shoved me here and tried to take away the love of my life! Tell him Hermione is MINE!" Pansy squealed as she barrelled towards Draco.

Draco did a backflip and summersault (he still denies that till date) and ran behind the sofa for cover. His Floo flashed again and this time Ron tumbled out along with Hermione who was clinging to his leg like a desperate koala.

"You can't take her away from me!" Hermione screeched as she dug her nails into Ron's leg.

Ron grimaced in pain and waved his wand at Hermione to dislodge her but Pansy on noticing Hermione ran towards her and engulfed her in a tight embrace. Hermione left Ron's leg and embraced Pansy back. Draco knew girls hug for a time longer than appropriate but this was too much. Was Pansy caressing Hermione's back in her backless dress? Hermione was making bedroom eyes at Pansy. If this situation wasn't so absurd, Draco would have leered at them. Ron spotted Draco and sheepishly went towards him.

"What did you do to my wife?" Draco asked expressionlessly.

"The hired cherubs messed up and somehow some wild ones hijacked them and on reaching Pansy's home shot Hermione and Pansy with arrows thinking they needed to have more love for each other," Ron explained as Hermione cooed at Pansy who gave a sly giggle and blushed.

"And who told you that?" Draco sneered.

"The hired cherubs. They seemed very apologetic. Said they would refund the payment too," Ron said as Draco turned to give him an honest-to-Merlin glare.

"What is going on is not right!" Draco said pointing towards Pansy who was whispering sweet nothings in Hermione's ears making Mrs Malfoy blush, "We need to rectify this. I am taking a chance. You cover my back." Draco ordered as he brandished his wand. He took a deep breath and in the loudest voice possible shouted, "Accio cherubs that caused the present state of affairs of Pansy Parkinson and Hermione Malfoy nee Granger!" in one breath.

Nothing happened for some moment. The house was silent but for the whisperings of the girls who were getting a little too close for comfort.

"Looks like it didn't work," Ron said sadly.

"Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't," Draco said he shrugged and walked towards Hermione, who was staring at Pansy's lips and licking her own. Draco motioned to his Auror partner to hold Pansy from behind and working as one, they quickly grabbed their girls from behind by the shoulder. The girls screeched indignantly and tried to jump out of the hold but the men were too strong for them.

"Nooooooo! You can't do this to us," Pansy shouted, tears filling her eyes.

"My love! I will save you! Don't worry!" Hermione shouted as she struggled hard against Draco.

"You don't-uh!-don't look unfazed- watch it, Pans!- by this," Ron said as he tried to save his face from being scratched out by a lovelorn Pansy.

Draco didn't answer but wandlessly cast a Stupefy at Hermione. Pansy screamed in sorrow and horror while Draco carried her bridal style and carefully deposited her in their bedroom.

"To answer you," Draco began as Pansy began a desperate struggle, "when I saw Crooks run out of the house at the start of the day I considered that as an ill omen."

Ron rolled his eyes and stared pointedly looked at Draco. Draco huffed and then cast a strong Stupefy on Pansy too. Ron dragged Pansy ungracefully and dumped her on the bed like a sack of potatoes. Albeit a beautiful one. He adjusted her and carefully covered Hermione and her with a light blanket. Ron dropped down on the loveseat beside Draco as Draco extended a shot of strong vodka towards him. Ron drank it in one gulp and hissed as it flowed down his throat. Draco smacked his lips and was capping the bottle when something crashed in through the window. Draco merely cast a single look at the intruders and started casting Incarcerous uncannily on each of the five shocked cherubs. Ron didn't lose time and stunned them alongside. As the bundle of rope wrapped cherubs fell on the floor, Draco and Ron shared a malicious look.

"You know earlier some wizards used cherubs as a potion ingredient to make potent Amorentia," Ron said as Draco stated at him in disbelieve.

"Hermione." Ron shrugged

"It's time to visit the dungeons," Draco stated as Ron nodded in agreement.

* * *

A cherub slowly came to consciousness when he realised he was being hung upside down with a very powerful light on his face making him cringe. He tried to look around but in the harsh light he could barely make out the silhouettes of his fellow mates. Hah… at least he wasn't alone in this. The place was cold and if strained his ears he could hear water dripping on a stone floor. His heart rate increased and he twisted around but it seemed he was tied up pretty tight. A door slammed open, suddenly, eliciting a scared eeek! from him. In the light, he couldn't make out anything but a pair of demonic silhouettes.

"Well, well, well… what do we have here?" an icy voice drawled.

"Fat, juicy cherubs. A fine potion they'll make," a booming voice joined in.

"Right you are. Let us get that knife sharpened. My mate fell for someone else!" the icy voice exclaimed.

"Noooo. Please. Please let us go! We are on Cupid's mission on his day today! We are on a mission!" the cherub squeaked in fear.

"Yes, yes. Cupid's own mission!" another squeak chimed in.

"Mission of stealing our women from us, you mean!" the booming voice shouted.

"We are sorry. We thought they were meant to be," a cherub squeaked from the back.

"We did!" another supported.

"Well, since you did what you had to do we are going to do what we have to," the booming voice said calmly.

"And that is?" one squeaked.

"Kill you!" the voice boomed.

"Make the strongest Amorentia in the history of magic for our women!" the icy voice sneered.

"Nooooooooo!"

"We'll change it back!"

"We'll make it alright!"

"We are sorry!"

"We just wanted to spread some love!"

"We'll make it up to you!"

"We'll make them love youuuuu!"

The cherubs shouted together but Ron and Draco could understand them alright. They shared a look and shrugged.

* * *

Hermione woke up, feeling rather fatigued than she was in the morning.

"Hey, honey! Feeling okay?" Draco asked softly as he gave her a one-sided hug from the edge of the bed.

"Did I faint?" Hermione asked while rubbing her eyes.

"Some faint prank from the Weasley twins I guess," Draco answered as he watched Pansy stir from the corner of his eye.

"What the hell I am doing in a bed with Hermione?" Pansy asked taking in her surroundings.

"Pans, some cherubs shot some fainting arrows at you both. So, we kept you here," Ron replied coming inside the room with glasses of water for both the girls. He gave one to Pansy and turned to give the other to Hermione but she was busy sucking the ferret's face off. Ron murmured 'get a room' and turned to face Pansy who pulled him by his shirt towards her, making him fall into the bed at an awkward angle.

"I have to have you right now," Pansy stated huskily as she started kissing Ron passionately.

Ron could only let out a muffed sound before he was kissing his girlfriend enthusiastically. When he parted from her, he saw Hermione in Draco's arms attached to him like a koala making their way out of Pansy's flat without breaking their kiss.

"You look here," Pansy said, quickly removing Ron's shirt off his body.

Ron smiled and got busy with his girlfriend.

* * *

"That was…" Hermione left off.

"Amazing," Draco said lying on his back and wrapped his arms around his thoroughly shagged and deliciously naked wife who was next to him on her side. He gave a kiss on top of her head as Hermione slung an arm over him.

Both of them basked in the post orgasmic bliss while Draco lazily ran his fingers up and down the smooth expanse of Hermione's back. He couldn't help it if his hands strayed a little further than just her back. Hermione slapped his exposed chest softly and giggled. Yes, she does all sorts of un-Hermione-ish things when she was sated.

"Okay, so. What was that?" Hermione whispered in his ears.

"What was what?" Draco said trying to peer at her face.

"Those cherubs. They were definitely wild ones. Fred and George don't deal with wild cherubs. I would know. I am their product approver," Hermione said tilting her face to look at her hot as hell husband.

"Ron," was the only answer Draco gave.

"So, they shot us with arrows of love again?" Hermione teased.

"You already love me. All those arrows did was act as aphrodisiacs for us," Draco said, pulling Hermione half over himself.

Hermione huffed and didn't say anything more. Until the silence was disturbed by a mock indignant shout of, "Again, Mr Malfoy?"

"Always hungry for you, Mrs Malfoy."

"Happy Valentine's Day, love," Hermione punctuated that with a passionate kiss.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," Draco returned back with more enthusiastic kiss…and some more.

* * *

 **Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!**

 **This story was first posted on AO3.**


End file.
